Believe Before You See It

I recently watched The Dynasty: UConn Huskies on Apple TV.

The documentary covers 40 years, 12 national championships, and some of the greatest players in the history of women’s basketball.

But it was really about Belief.

The documentary focuses heavily on Rebecca Lobo, Diana Taurasi, and Paige Bueckers.

Three different players from three different eras.

But Geno Auriemma saw something in each of them before they could fully see it themselves.

He didn’t just see who they were.

He saw who they could become.

I know what that feels like.

When I look back at my own life, I can think of coaches, teachers, bosses, and friends who believed in me before I had earned the confidence to believe in myself.

They saw something.

Sometimes I’m still not sure what they saw.

I wasn’t always the easiest person to coach.

I could be stubborn.

Defensive.

Insecure.

I didn’t always respond well when someone challenged me.

Sometimes I heard correction as rejection.

Sometimes I mistook being pushed for not being valued.

But a few people stayed with me long enough to help me understand the difference.

They weren’t pushing me because they thought I wasn’t enough.

They were pushing me because they believed I was capable of more.

The story of Paige Bueckers brought all of that back.

Paige arrived at UConn as one of the most talented players in the country. She won awards immediately and became the face of the program.

But Geno wanted more from her.

Not more points.

Not more attention.

More leadership.

Paige believed she could lead through her example. She would work hard, play well, and expect everyone else to follow.

Geno believed leadership required more.

He wanted her to find her voice.

He wanted her to take responsibility for the standard around her.

He wanted her to become the person he already believed she could be.

Their relationship became strained.

They stopped talking for a period of time.

There were moments when Paige clearly didn’t understand why he was pushing her so hard.

Honestly, there were moments when I wondered if he had gone too far.

That is the complicated part of tough love.

Some leaders are simply tough.

There is no love underneath it.

They embarrass people, tear them down, or make everything personal. Then they claim they’re only trying to make someone better.

That isn’t leadership.

Without belief, relationship, and love, tough love is just tough.

But Geno never stopped believing in Paige.

Even when she was angry with him.

Even when she pulled away.

Even when she couldn’t see what he was trying to pull out of her.

Eventually, Paige called a players-only meeting.

She found her voice.

She took ownership of the team around her.

And UConn won the national championship.

At the end of the game, Geno embraced her and told her he loved her.

That was the whole documentary for me.

The pressure.

The conflict.

The years of expectations.

And finally, “I love you.”

He wasn’t trying to break her.

He was trying to help her see herself.

I have needed people like that in my life.

People who didn’t give up on me when I couldn’t see my own value.

People who gave me an opportunity before I felt ready.

People who trusted me with responsibility before I was certain I could handle it.

People who told me the truth when it would have been easier to tell me what I wanted to hear.

Their belief became something I could borrow until my own belief caught up.

The mortgage industry needs more of that right now.

This market has beaten people up.

There are talented loan officers who have spent the last few years watching their production fall, their income change, and their confidence take hit after hit.

People who once knew exactly who they were are beginning to question themselves.

Am I still good at this?

Can I rebuild?

Do I still have what it takes?

Is the market ever going to turn?

Those aren’t just business questions.

They get into your identity.

They follow you home.

It is easy to believe in someone when they are producing $50 million a year.

It is easy to support people when the market is good, the pipeline is full, and everyone is winning.

But do you still believe in them when the numbers are down?

Can you see who they are underneath what the last few years have done to them?

Can you see what they could become when conditions stabilize and their confidence returns?

Can you help them see it too?

That is leadership.

It is also recruiting.

Great recruiting isn’t convincing someone to accept an offer.

It isn’t moving a production number from one spreadsheet to another.

It is seeing the person.

It is understanding what they have been through.

It is helping them remember what made them successful before the market convinced them they weren’t.

It is telling them the truth about where they are while still believing in where they can go.

But belief cannot be a recruiting line.

You cannot tell someone you believe in them just because you want their business.

People know the difference.

Real belief comes with responsibility.

If I tell someone I believe in them, I need to remain involved after they say yes.

I need to make the call when things aren’t going well.

I need to tell them the truth when they are getting in their own way.

I need to celebrate their growth, not just their production.

I need to care about the human being after the hire is announced.

The same is true for companies.

Loan officers need to be somewhere that believes before it sees.

A company that isn’t waiting for the market to improve before investing in people.

A company willing to build while building is uncomfortable.

A company with leaders who believe the market will stabilize and are preparing for that future now.

Because if you wait until everything is obvious, you have already waited too long.

Geno arrived at UConn before it was UConn.

Rebecca Lobo committed before there was a dynasty.

Diana Taurasi accepted the weight of the standard.

Paige Bueckers stayed through injuries, disappointment, conflict, and years without a championship.

They believed before they saw it.

Then they became the proof.

Watching their stories made me think about the people who once saw something in me.

I owe them more than I’ll ever be able to explain.

But maybe the way I repay them is by doing the same for someone else.

Maybe a candidate needs more than another pitch.

Maybe someone on my team needs to hear that a difficult season has not changed who they are.

Maybe someone reading this has lost confidence and needs to borrow a little belief.

If that is you, I hope you hear this:

You are not your worst year.

You are not your current production.

You are not the fear telling you that your best days are behind you.

The market may have changed your numbers.

It did not erase your ability.

Keep working.

Stay open to being coached.

Find people who will tell you the truth and still stand beside you.

Find leaders who can see what you are capable of, especially when you can’t.

Find a company willing to believe before it sees.

And when your own belief returns, give some of it to someone else.

You never know who may need to borrow it.